July 16|From Rock Bottom to Redemption: How a Two-Word Prayer Saved My Life After Years of Addiction
When you're drinking mouthwash in your car at 3 AM, calculating if your life insurance will still pay out after suicide, you know you've hit rock bottom. But sometimes, that's exactly where God meets us with His most powerful grace.
The Shattering Sound of Ice Against Glass
The familiar clink of ice cubes had become the soundtrack to my destruction. For the 10,000th time, I told myself the same lie: "Just one more, then I'll stop." But stopping wasn't part of my vocabulary anymore – hadn't been for years.
I'd become a master architect of excuses. Rough day at work? Time to drink. Celebrating good news? Better have a drink. Bored on Tuesday? The sun came up? Any reason worked. Every reason worked.
What nobody tells you about rock bottom is that it has a basement. And I was jackhammering through the floor with determination that would have been admirable if it weren't so destructive.
The Week Everything Collapsed
Monday morning, I lost my job. By Wednesday, my wife had packed her things and moved out. By Friday night, I was sitting in a drugstore parking lot, drinking mouthwash because the liquor stores were closed.
Yes, you read that correctly. Mouthwash.
But even that wasn't the lowest point.
The 3 AM Moment That Changed Everything
The worst part came later that night. I sat in my car with the engine running, staring at a bridge abutment, trying to calculate if driving into it at the right angle would look like an accident. My alcohol-soaked brain was still trying to control the narrative, figuring out if my life insurance would still pay out for my family.
That's when my phone buzzed.
A text from my seven-year-old daughter: "Dad, I had a nightmare. Are you okay?"
She was living with her mom, miles away, and somehow at 3 AM, she knew her dad was not okay.
The Power of a Child's Intuition
I turned off the engine. Drove home. Poured out every bottle I could find. Then, in a moment that perfectly captures the insanity of addiction, I poured them back in and drank them. Because that's how addiction works – your best intentions at 3 AM mean nothing at 6 AM when the withdrawal shakes start.
But something had shifted. That text from my daughter was like a crack in a dam, and soon the whole structure would come tumbling down.
The Two-Word Prayer That Started My Journey
The next morning, with hands trembling and head pounding, I did something I hadn't done since Sunday school. I prayed. Not some eloquent, theological masterpiece. Not even a complete sentence. Just two words, repeated over and over:
"Help me." "Help me." "Help me."
And here's the miracle – He did.
When God Sends Breadcrumbs Instead of Lightning Bolts
God's response didn't come with fanfare or miraculous instant healing. Instead, He sent breadcrumbs. A friend I hadn't spoken to in years called out of nowhere: "Hey man, weird question, but do you need help with anything?"
I laughed. Then I cried. Then I told him everything.
He drove me to my first AA meeting that afternoon.
The Unglamorous Reality of Getting Sober
Let me tell you what nobody mentions about getting sober – it's not like the movies. There's no dramatic background music when you walk into that first meeting. No slow clap when you share your story. Just a bunch of broken people drinking terrible coffee, saying the serenity prayer like their lives depend on it.
Because they do.
The First 30 Days of Hell
The first month was actual, literal hell. Every cell in my body screamed for alcohol. I couldn't sleep. Couldn't eat. Couldn't stop sweating. The physical withdrawal was brutal, but the mental battle was worse.
But every morning, I returned to those two words: "Help me."
And every morning, help came:
Sometimes as a phone call from my sponsor
Sometimes as a Bible verse I randomly stumbled across
Sometimes as just enough strength to make it one more hour
What Sobriety Taught Me About Grace
Through this journey, I learned that grace isn't some abstract theological concept discussed in seminary classrooms. Grace has skin on it.
Grace in Action
Grace is:
God showing up in a gas station parking lot when you're white-knuckling the steering wheel, trying not to go inside for beer
Your sponsor answering the phone at 2 AM for the fifth night in a row
Your daughter drawing pictures of superheroes with "My Dad" written in crayon
A church member offering to drive you to meetings when you can't trust yourself behind the wheel
Ten Years Later: Counting Moments, Not Just Days
Today marks 3,650 days sober. That's 87,600 hours of choosing recovery over relapse. But I don't really count like that anymore. Instead, I count in moments:
The moment I watched my daughter graduate, clear-eyed and fully present
The moment my ex-wife said, "I'm proud of who you've become"
The moment a shaking newcomer asked me to sponsor him
The moment I realized I hadn't thought about drinking in three whole days
The Unexpected Gift of Gratitude
Here's something that might sound crazy: I'm grateful for my addiction. I know how that sounds, but hear me out. My addiction taught me something I never would have learned otherwise – I cannot save myself. Period.
All my willpower, determination, and promises meant nothing against that bottle. But God's grace? It was stronger than vodka, stronger than shame, stronger than the voice that said I was too far gone.
The Truth About Grace and Weakness
I used to think grace was for good people who made small mistakes. Turns out, grace is for people drinking mouthwash in their car at 3 AM. Grace is for people who've broken every promise they've ever made. Grace is for people whose prayers are just two slurred words through tears.
Paul captured this perfectly in 2 Corinthians 12:9: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
From Liability to Launching Pad
I used to hate that verse. Now I live by it. My weakness isn't a liability – it's the very place God's power shows up most dramatically. The moment I think I've got this on my own is the moment I'm in danger.
That's why, even after 10 years of sobriety, I still start every morning with the same prayer: "Help me."
A Message for Anyone Fighting Their Own Battles
If you're fighting something right now – whether it's addiction, depression, anxiety, or whatever your personal "bottle" looks like – let me share what I wish someone had told me:
You cannot willpower your way to freedom
You cannot shame yourself into change
You cannot think your way out of what you behaved your way into
But you can whisper "Help me" and mean it.
The Divine Response to Desperate Prayers
When you pray those two words with genuine desperation, God will move heaven and earth to answer. Not because you deserve it. Not because you've earned it. But because that's what grace does:
It shows up for people who can't show up for themselves
It fights for people too tired to fight
It believes in people who've stopped believing in themselves
Recovery: A Daily Decision, Not a Destination
One crucial truth I've learned: Recovery isn't a destination you arrive at and unpack your bags. It's a daily decision, a moment-by-moment choice. Every morning, I wake up and choose:
To ask for help instead of relying on myself
To stay connected instead of isolating
To choose grace over pride
To choose honesty over hiding
Some days, that choice is harder than others. Some days, that liquor store still calls my name. But grace is louder. Grace sounds like my daughter laughing, like my sponsor checking in, like that two-word prayer that saved my life.
The Ongoing Miracle of "Help Me"
Those two words – "Help me" – remain the most powerful prayer an addict can pray. They're not just words; they're a lifeline, a reset button, a divine 911 call that connects us directly to the God who specializes in resurrection.
Whether you're on day one or day one thousand of your journey, remember: God's patience has no expiration date. His grace doesn't run out. His love doesn't give up.
He will help. He does help. He is helping right now.
All you have to do is ask.
An Invitation to go Deeper….
If today’s message spoke to you, join the FaithLabz 30-Day Prayer Challenge and strengthen your connection with God’s unshakable love. You are never alone—let’s grow together!
