Sept 28 | When Jesus Played Hard to Get: Understanding Divine Delays in Your Prayer Life
Why does God sometimes seem silent when we need Him most? Discover the profound purpose behind Jesus's deliberate delays and what they reveal about deepening faith.
The Uncomfortable Truth About Jesus's Timing
Your best friend is dying. You send an urgent message to the one person who can save them. And they wait. On purpose. For two days.
This isn't a hypothetical scenario—it's exactly what Jesus did to Mary and Martha when their brother Lazarus lay dying. And if you've ever felt the deafening silence of heaven during your most desperate prayers, you need to understand something crucial: Sometimes Jesus seems cruel, but there's always a redemptive purpose behind His timing.
In our modern Christian culture, we're often told that God answers immediately, that faith means instant results. But what happens when the One who claims to love us appears to play hard to get? What do we do when divine delays feel like divine rejection?
The Lazarus Delay: When Love Looks Like Abandonment
Understanding the Scriptural Context
John chapter 11 presents one of the most perplexing narratives in the New Testament. Mary and Martha, close friends of Jesus, send Him an urgent message: "Lord, the one you love is sick." Notice the restraint in their request—they don't demand His presence or command Him to heal. They simply inform Him, trusting that surely, surely, Jesus will drop everything for the friend He loves.
The Greek text reveals something profound here. When John describes Jesus's love for this family, he uses the word "agapao"—that deep, divine, unconditional love. And then comes the shocking conjunction: "So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days."
The word "so" (or "therefore") in this passage isn't a mistake. Jesus didn't delay in spite of His love—He delayed because of it.
Martha's Raw Confrontation
When Jesus finally arrives, Martha meets Him with barely controlled emotion. Her words, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died," carry the weight of every unanswered prayer we've ever prayed. It's the ancient equivalent of "Where were You when I needed You most?"
But notice Jesus's response. He doesn't apologize. He doesn't explain the delay. Instead, He reframes everything with one of the most powerful "I AM" statements in Scripture: "I am the resurrection and the life." Present tense. Not "I can perform resurrections" or "I will bring resurrection someday." I AM resurrection itself.
This reframing is crucial for understanding divine delays. Jesus wasn't interested in merely healing a sick friend—He was orchestrating a revelation of His true nature that would echo through millennia.
The Canaanite Woman: When Persistence Meets Purpose
A Mother's Desperate Plea
Perhaps even more challenging than the Lazarus account is Jesus's interaction with the Canaanite woman in Matthew 15. Here we encounter a desperate mother whose daughter is demon-possessed, crying out to Jesus for mercy. The disciples are annoyed by her persistence, begging Jesus to send her away.
And Jesus's initial response? Complete silence.
When He finally speaks, His words seem to cut even deeper: "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel." She's not Jewish. Wrong ethnicity. Wrong religion. Wrong everything according to the cultural boundaries of the time.
The "Dogs" Controversy Explained
The conversation escalates when the woman kneels before Him, simply pleading, "Lord, help me!" Jesus's response has troubled readers for centuries: "It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to the dogs."
However, the Greek word here is crucial. Jesus uses "kynarion"—meaning little household puppies, not the street dogs (kuon) that Jews typically associated with Gentiles. It's a softer term, but still, on the surface, it feels harsh.
But what if Jesus wasn't being cruel? What if He was being brilliant?
Faith on Display
The woman's response reveals extraordinary faith and understanding: "Yes, Lord, even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master's table." She doesn't defend herself. She doesn't argue theology. She accepts the metaphor and works within it, demonstrating a humility and persistence that Jesus publicly celebrates.
"Woman, you have great faith!" Jesus exclaims. It's one of only two times in all the Gospels where Jesus calls someone's faith "great." The other was a Roman centurion—another Gentile.
Jesus wasn't playing hard to get to be cruel—He was creating a stage for faith to shine in a way that would challenge His disciples' prejudices and inspire believers for generations.
The Pattern of Divine Withdrawal
Biblical Examples of Strategic Delays
Throughout Scripture, we see this pattern repeated:
Abraham and Sarah waited 25 years for the promised child, during which their faith was refined and their understanding of God deepened.
Joseph spent years in slavery and prison before his dreams were fulfilled, each delay preparing him for palace leadership.
David was anointed king but waited years while fleeing from Saul, learning dependence on God rather than human strength.
The disciples experienced Jesus sleeping during the storm, His absence during their midnight rowing, and His three-day disappearance after the crucifixion.
The Purpose Behind the Pattern
Each divine delay serves multiple purposes:
Faith Development: Our faith muscles need resistance to grow. Easy answers create weak believers; wrestling with God creates spiritual warriors.
Glory Maximization: Jesus told His disciples regarding Lazarus, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it."
Character Formation: Delays reveal what's really in our hearts—do we love God for who He is or merely for what He provides?
Testimony Creation: The greater the impossibility, the greater the testimony when breakthrough comes.
Theological Implications of Divine Delays
Challenging Prosperity Gospel Narratives
The modern prosperity gospel suggests that sufficient faith guarantees immediate answers. But Jesus's deliberate delays challenge this transactional view of faith. Sometimes the greatest faith is displayed not in receiving immediate answers but in trusting through prolonged silence.
Mary and Martha had perfect faith—they were Jesus's close friends. The Canaanite woman had remarkable faith—Jesus Himself said so. Yet both experienced divine delays. This suggests that delays aren't indicators of weak faith but opportunities for faith to mature.
The Already/Not Yet Kingdom
Jesus's delays also illustrate the "already/not yet" nature of God's kingdom. The kingdom has broken into our world through Christ, but it hasn't fully arrived. We live in the tension between promise and fulfillment, between the first coming and the second coming.
This theological framework helps us understand why we sometimes experience:
Healing and continued sickness
Provision and ongoing need
Answered prayers and mysterious silences
Divine intervention and divine delays
Practical Application: Living Through Your Own Divine Delays
Reframing Your Questions
Instead of asking "Why, God?" or "Where are You?"—questions that often lead to frustration—try reframing:
"What are You up to in this delay?"
"What character quality are You developing in me?"
"What greater glory are You preparing?"
"How might my persistence through this inspire others?"
Developing Delay-Resilient Faith
Study Biblical Delays: Immerse yourself in Scripture's delay narratives. Notice how God always had a bigger purpose.
Journal the Journey: Document your prayers, delays, and eventual answers. You'll begin to see patterns of God's faithfulness.
Community Support: Share your struggles with mature believers who've navigated their own divine delays.
Worship Through Waiting: Like Paul and Silas singing in prison, choose worship even when answers haven't come.
Focus on Presence Over Answers: Sometimes God's purpose in delay is simply to draw us into deeper intimacy with Him.
When Delays Feel Unbearable
There will be moments when divine delays feel crushing. In these times, remember:
Jesus wept: Even knowing He would raise Lazarus, Jesus wept at the tomb. God isn't indifferent to your pain.
The Spirit intercedes: Romans 8:26 promises that when we don't know how to pray, the Spirit intercedes with groans too deep for words.
Delay doesn't mean denial: God's "not yet" isn't the same as "no." His timing is perfect even when it's painful.
The Deeper Purpose: What Jesus Is Really After
Beyond Surface-Level Blessings
When we examine every instance of Jesus "playing hard to get," we discover He's always after something deeper than surface-level blessing:
With Lazarus, He wanted resurrection, not just healing
With the Canaanite woman, He wanted displayed faith, not quiet blessing
With the storm-tossed disciples, He wanted tested faith, not calm seas
With Paul's thorn, He wanted sufficient grace, not removed suffering
The Ultimate Goal: Transformation
God's ultimate goal isn't our comfort—it's our transformation. Romans 8:29 declares that God's purpose is to conform us to the image of His Son. Sometimes that conforming requires the chisel of delay, the hammer of hardship, the fire of prolonged waiting.
Every delay is a divine invitation to deeper dependency, greater growth, and ultimately, more intimate knowledge of God Himself.
Embracing the Holy Delay
The next time you feel like Jesus is playing hard to get—when your prayers seem to bounce off the ceiling, when urgent needs meet mysterious silence, when God's timing makes no earthly sense—remember this truth: Divine delays are never lazy, divine silence is never empty, and God's "not yets" are preparing you for better "yeses" than you knew to ask for.
Your Lazarus situation might be four days dead, but resurrection is coming. Your Canaanite moment might feel like rejection, but great faith is being forged. Your current delay might be devastating, but glory is being prepared.
The Jesus who delays is the Jesus who knows that your story needs a greater ending than the one you're writing. He's not playing hard to get—He's playing for keeps. He's not after your temporary comfort—He's after your eternal transformation.
So today, instead of asking God to hurry up, try asking Him to help you see what He sees. Because if there's one thing the Scriptures make abundantly clear, it's that when God finally moves after a delay, the results are always worth the wait.
Even when it doesn't feel like it.
Especially when it doesn't feel like it.
An Invitation to go Deeper….
If today’s message spoke to you, join the FaithLabz 30-Day Prayer Challenge and strengthen your connection with God’s unshakable love. You are never alone—let’s grow together!
