Aug 28| When Paul Couldn't Stop Doing What He Hated: A Raw Look at Addiction and Faith
The Apostle Who Sounded Like He Was in Recovery
Picture this: You're sitting in a recovery meeting, and someone stands up and says, "I don't understand what I do. What I want to do, I don't do. But what I hate, I do." You'd think they were sharing their addiction story, right?
Plot twist: Those words come from the apostle Paul, written nearly 2,000 years ago in Romans chapter 7.
If you're fighting addiction right now - whether it's alcohol, drugs, pornography, gambling, or any other compulsive behavior - I need you to hear this. The man who wrote half the New Testament, who planted churches across the Roman Empire, who had a direct encounter with Jesus on the Damascus road, basically admitted he couldn't stop doing the thing he hated.
Let that sink in for a moment.
The Universal Struggle Nobody Talks About in Church
We've sanitized our Bible heroes so much that we forget they were devastatingly human. Paul - the spiritual giant, the theological genius, the fearless missionary - is admitting in Romans 7:15-20 that knowing what's right and doing what's right are two completely different battles.
And he's losing.
The Greek word Paul uses for "I do not understand" is ginosko. It means intimate knowledge. Paul's not saying, "Oops, I made a mistake because I didn't know better." He's saying, "I intimately know better, I fully understand the right thing to do, and I still can't stop doing the wrong thing."
This is exactly what addiction feels like, isn't it? You know it's destroying your relationships. You know it's killing your body. You know God wants you free. You promise yourself tonight is the last time. And tomorrow morning, you do it again.
The Devastating Double Shame of Christian Addiction
Here's what makes addiction particularly cruel for believers: You carry double shame. There's the regular shame that anyone with addiction faces - the broken promises, the hidden bottles, the deleted browser history, the lies to cover up the lies.
But then there's spiritual shame. The voice that whispers, "If you were a real Christian, you'd be able to stop. If you truly loved God, prayer would be enough. If you had enough faith, the Holy Spirit would give you victory."
This spiritual shame is crushing because it attacks the very core of your identity. You're not just a person struggling with addiction; you're a bad Christian. You're not just falling short; you're failing God.
The Neuroscience Paul Couldn't Have Known
What's remarkable about Romans 7:17 is how Paul describes something neuroscience wouldn't discover for two millennia: "It is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me."
Now, stay with me here because this sounds like an excuse, but it's not. Paul's not playing the "devil made me do it" card. He's acknowledging that addiction literally rewires your brain. It becomes, as he puts it, a force living in you, separate from your conscious will.
Modern brain imaging shows us that addiction hijacks the reward system in your brain. It overrides your prefrontal cortex - the part responsible for decision-making and impulse control. Your brain begins to treat the addictive substance or behavior as necessary for survival, like food or water.
Paul couldn't have known about dopamine or neural pathways, but he understood the experience perfectly: "For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out" (Romans 7:18).
The Gap That Doesn't Mean You're a Failure
That gap - between wanting sobriety and achieving it, between desiring freedom and experiencing it, between knowing God's will and doing it - that's not proof you're a failure. That's proof you're human.
This gap has a name in recovery communities: powerlessness. It's literally Step One in most recovery programs. But somehow, in Christian circles, we've made admitting powerlessness sound like weak faith.
We've created this toxic theology that says, "If you can't pray away your addiction, you must not be praying hard enough. If you can't Bible-study your way to sobriety, you must not love God's Word enough."
But Paul - PAUL! - is standing here saying, "I cannot carry out the good I want to do."
The Question That Changes Everything
After verses and verses of this brutal honesty about his struggle, Paul does something profound in Romans 7:24. He cries out: "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?"
Notice the question. It's not:
"What program should I try?"
"What Bible verse should I memorize?"
"How can I have more willpower?"
"What's the right strategy?"
The question is "WHO?"
Paul's not looking for a principle. He's looking for a Person.
The Answer That Doesn't Fix Everything (And That's Okay)
"Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Romans 7:25)
Here's where we need to be really careful not to oversimplify. Paul's not saying, "And then I never struggled again!" The very next verse, beginning Romans 8, doesn't say, "Therefore, Paul was completely free and never had another problem."
It says, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
No condemnation. Present tense. Ongoing. While the struggle continues.
The Greek word for "delivers" that Paul uses is present continuous. God IS delivering me. Not "God delivered me once and now I'm fine." Not "God will deliver me someday when I get my act together." God is actively, continuously, presently delivering me.
Reframing Recovery: It's Not About Your Faith, It's About God's Faithfulness
What if we've been looking at recovery all wrong? What if your recovery isn't about proving your faith to God? What if it's about letting God prove His faithfulness to you?
Think about the prodigal son. We always focus on his one-time return. But what if the story continued? What if he came home, stayed clean for three months, then disappeared again? And came back? And left? And came back?
Would the father stop watching the road? Would there be a limit to his welcome?
Jesus never puts a footnote on that story that says, "Offer valid only once" or "Three strikes and you're out."
God's Not Keeping Score the Way You Think
We've made Christianity about behavior modification when God's playing a completely different game. He's not standing there with a clipboard counting your sober days. He's not disappointed when you reset your counter. Again.
The word for God's love in the New Testament is agape. It's not based on performance. It doesn't increase when you're doing well or decrease when you relapse. It's constant, unchanging, relentless.
You know what's exhausting about addiction? Keeping score. Counting days. Measuring progress. Calculating how many times you've failed.
You know what God's not doing? Any of that.
The Power of Honest Weakness
Here's the plot twist that changes everything: God didn't use Paul in spite of his weakness. God used him because he was honest about it.
Paul's vulnerability in Romans 7 has probably helped more struggling believers than any victory story ever could. His admission of ongoing struggle gives us permission to stop pretending.
Think about it: If Paul had written, "I used to struggle, but now I'm completely free," how would that help you in your moment of failure? But instead, he uses present tense. He normalizes the struggle without excusing it. He acknowledges the battle without abandoning hope.
Practical Hope for the Daily Battle
So what does this mean for you, today, in your struggle?
First, you can stop the spiritual shame game. Your addiction is not a faith failure. Paul had more faith than most of us could dream of, and he still struggled with doing what he didn't want to do.
Second, you can be honest about the battle. Stop pretending you should be able to white-knuckle your way to sobriety through Bible study alone. Even Paul asked, "Who will rescue me?" He knew he needed help beyond himself.
Third, you can accept grace in the present tense. Not just grace for past failures or future grace when you're "better." Grace right now, in the middle of the mess, while you're still struggling.
Fourth, you can see relapse differently. Not as proof that God has given up on you, but as another opportunity for God to prove He hasn't.
The God Who Delivers... Continuously
If you relapse tomorrow - and statistically, some of you will - I want you to read Romans 7. The whole thing. Out loud. And remember that the apostle Paul, the guy who met Jesus on the Damascus road, who planted churches across the Roman Empire, who wrote inspired Scripture - that guy said, "I cannot carry out the good I want to do."
And God used him anyway.
Actually, let me rephrase that. God didn't use him in spite of his weakness. God used him because he was honest about it.
Your struggle doesn't disqualify you from God's love. Your repeated failures don't exhaust God's grace. Your addiction doesn't surprise God or change His plan for your life.
He's not looking for perfect people. He's looking for honest ones.
The battle is real. The struggle is legitimate. And you're not fighting alone.
God is delivering you. Present continuous. Even when you can't feel it. Even when you can't see it. Even when you fail again.
Especially then.
An Invitation to go Deeper….
If today’s message spoke to you, join the FaithLabz 30-Day Prayer Challenge and strengthen your connection with God’s unshakable love. You are never alone—let’s grow together!
