NOV 17 | Why Jesus Never Made Small Talk (But You Should): The Hidden Ministry in Everyday Conversations
Discovering the sacred power of ordinary words through Colossians 4:6
The Conversation Nobody's Having in Church
You know what nobody teaches in church? How to talk about the weather.
I'm serious. We'll do twelve-week series on Revelation, dissect every Greek word in Romans, and debate predestination until the cows come home. But nobody explains why Paul tells us to season our conversations like we're preparing a gourmet meal. And more importantly, nobody talks about what that actually means when you're standing by the coffee machine at work, trying to make conversation with Dave from accounting.
This hit me like a brick this week while studying Colossians 4:6, where Paul writes from prison—probably chained to a Roman guard—these words: "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."
Most Christians read this and immediately think Paul's talking about defending your faith. Apologetics. Big theological debates. How to answer the skeptic who challenges your beliefs. But here's what we miss: the Greek word Paul uses here—logos—isn't just formal speech or theological discourse. It's every single word that comes out of your mouth. Including those three minutes you spend talking about the weather with your barber.
The Divine Paradox: Christ's Purposeful Words vs. Our "Meaningless" Chatter
Here's something that'll mess with your head: Jesus—the Word made flesh, the great communicator, the master teacher—is never recorded making small talk in Scripture. Ever notice that? Every conversation we see has weight, purpose, direction. He's either teaching, healing, challenging, or comforting. Never once do we see Him say, "Some weather we're having, huh, Peter?"
But you and me? We spend roughly 80% of our conversations on what seems like nothing. Weather patterns. Sports scores. Weekend plans. What's for lunch. Traffic complaints. And most of us who take our faith seriously feel guilty about it. Like we're wasting kingdom opportunities every time we don't turn a conversation toward eternal matters.
Can I flip that for you?
What if I told you that your small talk isn't small at all? What if those throwaway conversations about weekend plans or your kid's soccer game—what if those are actually the appetizers to the Gospel?
Decoding Paul's Kitchen Metaphor: When Salt Was More Than Seasoning
To understand what Paul's really saying, we need to understand salt in the first century. This wasn't just the stuff you shake on your fries. Salt was currency—Roman soldiers were sometimes paid in salt (that's where we get the word "salary"). Salt was preservation in a world without refrigeration. Salt sealed covenants. When you ate salt with someone, you were declaring peace and fellowship.
The Greek word Paul uses—halas—carries all these meanings. When Paul says "seasoned with salt," his readers would have felt this in their bones. He's talking about:
Making something palatable: Just like salt brings out the natural flavors in food, grace-filled conversation brings out the humanity in others
Preservation: Your words can preserve someone's dignity, hope, and sense of worth
Creating thirst: Ever notice how salty snacks make you reach for a drink? Your conversations should create a thirst for something more
This isn't about dumping the entire salt shaker on every conversation. That ruins everything. It's about that perfect pinch—just enough to enhance, to preserve, to create desire for more.
The Master Class: How Jesus Used "Casual" Conversation
While Jesus isn't recorded making traditional small talk, watch what happens when He does engage in what looks like casual conversation. The woman at the well in John 4—one of the most transformative conversations in Scripture—starts with what?
"Can I have a drink of water?"
That's it. That's the opening. Not "Have you heard about the kingdom of God?" Not "Let me tell you about your sins." Just... "I'm thirsty. Can you help?"
This simple request—this basic human need expressed vulnerably—opened a door that led to the transformation of an entire Samaritan town. Jesus understood something we often miss: genuine human connection precedes spiritual transformation.
The Two Extremes That Kill Connection
Most Christians approach conversations in one of two dysfunctional ways:
The Aggressive Evangelist
These folks try to work Jesus into every interaction like they're earning commission. You mention you're tired, and they immediately launch into how Jesus gives rest to the weary. You say you're grabbing coffee, and suddenly you're hearing about how Jesus is the living water. Every conversation becomes a forced bridge to the Romans Road.
The problem? People feel like projects, not persons. They sense the agenda from a mile away and build walls faster than you can say "Do you know where you'd go if you died tonight?"
The Secret Agent Christian
These believers completely compartmentalize their faith. They're one person at church, another at work. They can talk for hours about football, Netflix, or their workout routine, but freeze up if anything remotely spiritual enters the conversation. Their Christianity is so private it's practically invisible.
The problem? They miss countless opportunities to be salt and light. Their faith has no seasoning effect on the world around them because they keep it locked in a separate container.
Paul's Third Way: The Ministry of Gracious Presence
Paul's describing something far more beautiful and far more difficult than either extreme. He's talking about letting grace infiltrate every word, every interaction, every seemingly meaningless exchange. Notice he doesn't say "sometimes" let your conversation be full of grace. He says "always."
Always.
Your comment on the neighborhood Facebook page
Your response to the barista who messed up your order
Your text back to that annoying group chat
Your interaction with the telemarketer
Your email to customer service
What if every word is either sowing or destroying? Building or tearing down? Opening doors or closing them?
The Greek Word That Changes Everything
Paul adds something crucial: "so that you may know how to answer everyone." The word "answer" here—apokrinomai—literally means "to separate off" or "to give back." It implies a response that's perfectly fitted to that specific person in that specific moment.
This isn't about having a script. It's not about memorizing the Four Spiritual Laws or the bridge illustration. It's about being so present, so attentive, so filled with grace that you can give each person exactly what they need in that moment.
Sometimes that's a word of encouragement. Sometimes it's just listening. Sometimes it's sharing your own struggle. Sometimes it's offering to pray. And sometimes—many times—it's just being genuinely interested in their story about their cat or their vacation or their frustrating commute.
Real Stories: When Small Talk Opened Big Doors
Let me tell you about Mike. Mike became a Christian three years ago because his Uber driver asked him one question. Not about Jesus. Not about church. The driver simply noticed Mike seemed heavy and asked, "Rough day, man?"
That was it. A gentle observation. A door cracked open.
Mike ended up pouring out his heart about his divorce, his estranged kids, his sense of failure. The driver listened for the entire 20-minute ride. Really listened. Didn't preach. Didn't quote verses. Just listened with genuine compassion. At the end, he said, "Hey, I don't usually do this, but can I pray for you real quick?"
Today, Mike leads a small group at his church. All because someone understood that small talk isn't small.
Or consider Sarah, who mentions that every Tuesday for six months, she talked to the same grocery store clerk about nothing more than produce prices and weather. Gradual conversations. Gentle presence. Then one day, the clerk asked, "You always seem so peaceful. What's your secret?" That five-second question led to a coffee meeting, which led to an invitation to church, which led to a baptism six months later.
The ministry happened in the small talk. The mundane conversations were the seedbed for the miraculous.
Practical Application: Your Conversation Challenge This Week
So here's my challenge for you. This week, approach every conversation like you're seasoning a meal. Not dumping the whole salt shaker—that ruins everything. But just a pinch. Just enough to create thirst.
Gentle Questions That Open Big Doors:
"How's your Monday going—like, really?"
"That must be frustrating. Want to talk about it?"
"Tell me more about that."
"What's the best part of your day so far?"
"You seem tired. Everything okay?"
"What's bringing you joy these days?"
The Three-Part Formula:
Observe with compassion: Notice what's really going on with people
Ask with genuine interest: Let your questions come from real care, not agenda
Listen with your whole self: Put down your phone, make eye contact, lean in
Places to Practice:
The cashier who looks exhausted
Your neighbor who's always walking their dog
The coworker who eats lunch alone
The parent at school pickup who seems overwhelmed
The gym regular you always nod to but never talk with
The Theology of Everyday Words
When you understand that every word carries potential for grace, it changes everything. Your gracious response to the customer service rep might be the only kindness they experience in an eight-hour shift of angry callers. Your genuine interest in your colleague's weekend plans might be the only time that day someone sees them as a person, not just a function. Your patient conversation with the elderly neighbor might be their only human interaction all week.
This is kingdom work. This is what it means to be salt and light. Not in the big, dramatic moments, but in the small, seemingly insignificant exchanges that make up 95% of our daily communication.
The early church father John Chrysostom once wrote, "Not to speak is to speak, and to speak is to act." Every word—or lack thereof—is forming someone's understanding of what it means to be loved by God.
The Biggest Ministry You Never Knew You Had
The ministry of small talk might be the biggest ministry you have. It's certainly the most frequent. You'll have far more conversations about the weather than you will about the whether or not of God's existence. You'll discuss weekend plans more often than eternal plans. You'll talk about physical food more frequently than spiritual bread.
And that's not a problem to solve—it's an opportunity to embrace.
Jesus never made small talk in Scripture because every conversation He had was directed by divine purpose. But He also gave us His Spirit, who can make every conversation we have—no matter how small it seems—directed by that same divine purpose.
Your words this week—all of them—carry the potential for grace. Even the ones about the weather. Especially the ones about the weather. Because when you season your small talk with grace, you're not just making conversation. You're making disciples. You're opening doors. You're preparing hearts.
You're doing exactly what Paul commanded: letting your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
So this week, before you speak—before you respond to that text, before you answer that question, before you make that comment—ask yourself: Is this seasoned? Does this create thirst? Does this open a door, even just a crack?
Because in God's economy, there's no such thing as small talk. There are only small opportunities that lead to great transformations.
And they usually start with something as simple as, "How's your day going?"
An Invitation to go Deeper….
If today’s message spoke to you, join the FaithLabz 30-Day Prayer Challenge and strengthen your connection with God’s unshakable love. You are never alone—let’s grow together!
